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not what i meant
by benedict johnson, kika sroka-miller13-22.06.2025
create it together. This is something that we have agreed
upon since the start of the project. But what does
together actually look like? And where do we encounter
friction? What are the moments of miscommunication,
where we find ourselves saying, “That’s not what
I meant”? These moments arise frequently in our
discussions about the work, though interestingly, much
less so when we are painting or drawing. There, we often
slip into a simultaneous flow state—and that, to me, is
so far the most thrilling aspect of our collaboration.
But to enter that flow without reflection is, as
we’ve jokingly said, “a giant wank.” A project that
interrogates the idea of ownership cannot afford
to be so unexamined. In a world governed by rigid
structures—capitalist, patriarchal, colonial—any
question of ownership is inherently meaningful and
worth pursuing.
For me, the grey areas—the points of tension,
disagreement, or lack of understanding—are crucial.
They hold the potential to reveal a collective way
of being. These moments invite us to develop a
methodology or practice of making art that feels
emancipatory.
In this process, we are constantly negotiating sameness
and difference. We are learning more about each
other’s unique approach to painting, and beginning to
understand the contours of each other’s practices. But
how do we move beyond that understanding toward
creating together? How do we encourage a way of
working that resists differentiation and centres shared
authorship?
This brings us to questions of power and autonomy. I
refer specifically to power to—the capacity to act and
create—rather than power over. Yet even then, how does
power to manifest in our collaboration? How can we
enact non-hierarchical, non-linear modes of working?
wished to absent myself. I didn’t wish to
put a biographical me or other selves into
the artwork. I would delete figures; maybe
instead I would make a photo of their shadow
or record a household’s rubbish they’d put
on the street. Not the person themselves and
definitely not myself.
I’m weary of hearing and using ‘me’ ‘mine’ ‘I’.
Too much Main Character Syndrome.
I understood that the artwork was telling me
that the artist was not the centre of creation.
And I liked the ‘democracy’ of this.
I was very uncomfortable with individualised
or biographic brush mark. I’d rather use
controlled stain and accident, sometimes
industrialised elements and forms. Currently
I’m absorbing a technic native to paint and
working through issues raised by ideas such
as ‘skill’ or ‘expression’.
Working as a musician I moved from written
music to improvisation. From the ground up
we learnt to accept and direct the flow. It was
about having appreciation of the other and
non verbal understanding.
There was a different feeling for time here
- about what just happened and what is
occurring now - holding a relationship to
those, different to scripted music.